60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love
  1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
  2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
  3. Smell good!
  4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
  5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
  6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
  7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
    1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
    2. Amicable divorce
  8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
  9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
  10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
  11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
  12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
  13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
  14. Call his family often.
  15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
  16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
  17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
  18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
  19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
  20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
  21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
  22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
  23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
  24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
  25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
  26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
  27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
  28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
  29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
  30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
  31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
  32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
  33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
  34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
  35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
  36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
  37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
  38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
  39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
  40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
  41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
  43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
  44. Brush your hair, everyday.
  45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
  46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
  47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
  48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
  49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
  50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
  51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
  52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
  53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
  54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
  55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
  56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
  57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
  58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
  59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
  60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, ameen! InshaAllah if you know more ways, post them in the comments and share the benefit.

(For brothers, check out 60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love, and the romance alive! by shaykh Ahmed Shehab)

Source (and more tips): Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love – AlMaghrib Forums


228 thoughts on “60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love

  1. Nazia

    hi iam so upset with my life right now that its hard for me to even breath ,your article came to me like fresh air . I am newly married and my husband lives in north america so i had to move here leaving my home and my people .it has been such a big change for me that words cant describe.My husband does everything to please me and love me more than anything or anyone but still i can’t just cant help myself.we fight over small issues and try to make up but i have started to feel i am not meant for marriage .and honestly when i read your article i, realized i was doing everything the wrong way for instance i dont care any more how i look,i don’t dress up ,i dont take care of skin or my weight (i have become fat) because i feel i dont have to go anywhere. i cook but never feel happy about it and i never feel happy when he comes home .i feel so alone and disappointed here that i feel i should go back to my home and more than often i keep saying it to my husband which irritates him.before my marriage i used to work and i was very independent i lived alone in a different cities of the world and worked there .now since i have recently moved my situation is very different here, i am usually home most of the time its only with my husband that i go out . its not the freedom but the fact that i dont have anywhere to go . Then we are just starting our lives so it is not so comfortable as it was when i was home . I have everything and by market standards i have the best of everything its just that i have to bring everything together on my own and it from scratch that iam building it .
    i really liked reading your article i wanted someone to tell me everything i needed to know and that is the reason i wrote about myself in such detail.i am sorry for taking up a lot of your time with my mail .Thanks

  2. Geeta Arora

    Hi m going to married next month ,me n my fiance don’t talk much.as he is always busy with his office .I never get back call whenever I called him n he didn’t pick the phone.when I asked him the reason he is always like I was busy somewhere thought to call u bt ‘
    NY qu

  3. ayesha siddiqui

    ALHAMDULILAH.a very useful information 4r every wife.we must follow that.Insha allahTHANKS

  4. Faq

    This sounds very much like 14th century stuff. Wife to be the door mat. I love my husband dearly been married 6years now. But it’s impossible to follow these 60 steps for a modern working wife. Works both ways to be honest give respect and get respected simples.

  5. sara

    Asalamu alaikoum.
    This comment is for the people witj negative comments about the article as well as the ‘strong’ women that want to treated equal. I agree in many homes wives work and husbands work which might make some tips hard to accomplish or might seem that u are making urself out to be less in the relationship. But marriage is not about tit for tat. Its about companionship. Rqual rights no such thing in marriage. Its about ur rights over ur husband and his rights over u. In a marriage its the one place that when u give more, the more u will get. Try some of these hints and dont expect anything back and see the reward , ur husband might suprise u. AND even if u see no change at first keep on trying for the time u get no reward from ur husband u will be rewarded by Allah ta alla in the here after. I just want to say why would waiting for ur husband to come home and kisding him at the door take away any of ur dignity as a strong woman? Just try greeting ur husband like that for a week and see the change in ur husbands eyes when he look at u. The best tip on the list in my opion is the greeting time . This till today is my special moment with my husband before daily home chores take our attention away. That 2 minutes of intimacy witj a smile and a kiss at the door isvwhat make the whole day’s stress and work worth while. That small action tells me iam.still the queen in his heart and he knows he is still the hunk i adore.

  6. ruksar

    Its very true nw i try to follow al dis rules. For evry its very necessary to know dis rules to make her life

  7. Haley

    I think this is one of the most important information for me.
    And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on few
    general things, The website style is ideal, the articles is really excellent :
    D. Good job, cheers

  8. Anjum

    I have a problem plz help me
    am married since 15years back n i have 2 girls my husband is always interested in his brothers wife he never shares anything with me ge tells all his secrets all his things to her they r v close so plz help me to get rid of this from our life

  9. Amatullah

    Yes Krstine, we believe in Jesus Peace Be Upon Him and We believe Jesus obeyed God in accordance to His Terms therefore He is a Muslim. : )
    That’s what a Muslim is the one who obeys God the One true God.. In Arabic its summed into one word.. Allah. If you believe that then you’re a Muslim too.

  10. rubina

    Dear sisters, 90% of the marriages fail due to men, not to blame women, in modern society so much of vulguar is present on tv, internet, men no longer are shameful, however some wrong women take advantage of this and destroy others happy married life, most of such women are either domestic helpers, maid servants, office co workers, widows, prostitues etc, which are easy options available for men to get distracted from married life ending in painful divorce. May Allah help us to restore back our happy married life. Dua is the only weapon left for us, so keep praying.

  11. Ying C

    I have a problem, my husband always think of his family first before me. He never comunicates with me. He does even look at me or be affectionate with me . He says hes not used to that. We have a 5 month old now. Hes always too busy with his family especially his mother and his work that he never has any time for me. Hes the bread winner here and im stay at home mom.i have no family of my own here. We been together for 10 years now. His lack of attention towards me is making me feel like less of a woman. My feelings have started to change towards him . I feel no more love for him. Its been a week now that i do not sleep in the same bed with him. I dont talk to him anymore. It seems like he doesnt have any responds to anything like he doesnt care. I have no where to go or dont even know what to do anymore. What should i do? Am i loosing it?

  12. Ilm Seeker Post author

    @Ying sorry to hear that you’re having such a challenging time. In your case, I would suggest talking to a local marriage councillor (together ideally, or at least yourself) to see what you can do — that’s beyond the scope of this article (which is general tips for marriage).

  13. Amatullah

    @ Ying C:

    May Allah relief you of your situation very quickly, Allahumma Aameen .. istighfar, taqwa and sabr are your solutions for every problem sister.
    Whatever blessings we are lacking in our life, then our sins are blocking it from coming down to us.

    فَقُلْتُ اسْتَغْفِرُوا رَبَّكُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ غَفَّارًا
    يُرْسِلِ السَّمَاءَ عَلَيْكُم مِّدْرَارًا ﴿١١﴾ وَيُمْدِدْكُم بِأَمْوَالٍ وَبَنِينَ وَيَجْعَل لَّكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ وَيَجْعَل لَّكُمْ أَنْهَارًا ﴿١٢﴾

    {And said, ‘Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He Is ever a Perpetual Forgiver. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers. And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers.} [Quran 71: 10- 12]


    وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّـهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا ﴿٢﴾ وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّـهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّـهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا ﴿٣﴾

    And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out.
    And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (Quran 65:2-3)

    إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ ﴿١٠﴾
    Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.” (Quran 39:10)

  14. halima

    Assalamu alaikum,
    Thanks a lot….. I was confused a little bit about my husband now got cleared after reading this… will follow it…..really thank u and make dua for us

  15. navsheen

    this information is good and useful but only point of husband view as no importance for women and her feelings man and women in islam are same and have rights upon each other

  16. Rose

    Rubbish…if i’ll do everything then what should he do….man and woman both r equal…ur suggestions r really aweful…. disgusting

  17. Amber

    What about men…what should they do for their wives…only women have duties to fullfill in islam……can u givr 60 points too for men so “husbands” can follow it too ..like we should!!##

  18. Pare

    I have being married since 8 years and I’m in Austria and my husband seems very busy in his work and he doesn’t loves me I’m a good house wife and Does everything for him every work of his on time.but then also he does not loves me what to do. Plz suggest me

  19. priya jain

    I want ur contact no. And email address maim.i like ur 60 tips need more tips.online or through contact

  20. Arifa Mukarram

    I’m so thankful to u for giving us such good ideas to impress our husband, I was so disturbed in my life, I taught that I can no more handle my married life, because the way my husband treats me but after reading your article iv resterest in my married my I alwz use to think that y should I always sacfice y should I alwaz bend my knee in front of him, I was sooooo wrong, thanks to u after reading your article, now I will manage my life with happiness and love towards my husband…….

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