60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love
- Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
- Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
- Smell good!
- Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
- Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
- Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
- Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
- Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
- Amicable divorce
- Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
- Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
- Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
- Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
- Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
- Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
- Call his family often.
- Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
- When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
- Encourage him to do good deeds.
- If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
- Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
- If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
- When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
- Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
- Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
- If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
- Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
- Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
- Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
- Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
- Learn to make his favorite dish.
- Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
- Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
- Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
- Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
- Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
- Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
- Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
- Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
- Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
- Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
- Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
- The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
- Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
- Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
- Brush your hair, everyday.
- Don’t forget to do laundry.
- Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
- Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
- Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
- Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
- Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
- Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
- Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
- Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
- If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
- Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
- Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
- Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
- Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
- If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
- Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, ameen! InshaAllah if you know more ways, post them in the comments and share the benefit.
(For brothers, check out 60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love, and the romance alive! by shaykh Ahmed Shehab)
its amazing knowledge to keep a husband happy through islam.may Allah give you jannah for spreading such beautiful lines.plz pray for all muslim wives , thanks
The 60 ways are so understanding and good to help each and every islamic wife to keep her husband happy.May Allah give you more strength and wisdom to spread the words of islam throughout the whole world.
Thanks
Sabiha.
Alhumdulillah i learnt such nice tips:-)
ur doing vry gr8 hlp lyk us wifez…i wil surly take dz tipz n please my husband…bt aftr xpressng my love he thinks i dnt love him truly..n says dat my love is childish love…he says he love me truly….coz thr is 12 yrz of cap bet us…cn any 1 hlp wat shld i do….ofnly we end up fighting n i upset hm a lot n brk his xpectatns…wat shld i do???
MashAllah i really loved reading this. Alhamdillah my marriage is great and InshAllah Allah will make it perfect for us. Thank you so much and InshAllah i will improve in my marriage:) Jazzakoum Allah Khair
you should dress up for him, put make up on, always smile because thats what i do..i always tell him you are the best husband and he really does get happy and whenever we get into a fight i used to talk back and because of that it ends up as a fight, so i just stay quiet now because we have 2 kids and i don’t want to lose him as a husband or my kids lose any of us as parents..i always tell my husband i don’t want to lose him because no one will treat our kids good like the mother and father and no Alhamdillah we are working our issues out and InshAllah if you follow these instructions your marriage wll improve and good luck habibti Allah Ya wafagkoum InshAllah
wonderful tips sister,may Allah bless u.
i’m not Muslim. this article is so good and i would really try it on my husband. but, should not husbands too behave to their wives similarly?
you must write an article on that………
Sara, there are similar things as that for husbands as well, and more :) And thank to Allah, there r husbands who ARE like that, and history holds men in islam better than anything we see today. And women too..its among the rules of islam that things stay that way. It is achieved by loving each other for God’s sake, by chosing someone pious, moderate and knowledgeable. and islam doesnt have rules as a religion, it has laws as a “way of life” so its easy to find it and act on it.
Its nice…
ALHAMDU LILLAH. no any muslim woman that will practice this 60 ways without achieving it and still recieve reward from ALLAH. may ALLAH reward you and the contributors too. my contribution here is: a woman should ecourage her husband to keep glad tidings with both families and neighbors.
thnx alot always tell him you are the best husband and he really does get happy and whenever we get into a fight i used to talk back and because of that it ends up as a fight, so i just stay quiet now because we have 2 kids and i don’t want to lose him as a husband or my kids lose any of us as parents..i always tell my husband i don’t want to lose him because no one will treat our kids good like the mother and father and no Alhamdillah we are working our issues out and InshAllah we follow these instructions and our marriage wll improve and good luck amin inshallah
hi, what surah can i read 4 my husband to love me alot pls can help me?
nil
amzing
many tips but marriage is a TWO way street
Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money. – The wife deserves money too. Working inside the house is a job as well besides if she is already working outside. Budget the money is what you mean I think. (Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts). Shoes cost money too nowadays!
If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something. – I just hope the husband isn’t abusive and hits the woman. This is when he needs help.
Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home. Well it’s nice if he has friends but make sure the wife can go out too as well with friends and make sure they can do things together as well.
Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant. – Don’t laugh??? (Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him). Some good advice but some corrections are necessary.
@Sumayyah jazakumullahu khayran for the extra tips! Masha’Allah very beneficial.
I wish these tips could help a working Muslim woman. I feel like there is no hope.
Asalam alykum….. Iam very very happy to found dz site…..jazakaallah for wonderful tips may allah swt be please with u and all muslim..and i request you and all muslim to pray for all muslim to make our aakhirath ryt..and death on imaan ameen…. Jazakaallah khair…
@Taza even if you implement one or two tips, insha’Allah you will see a positive difference. Never lose hope.
@Ilm Thank you. I will try insha’Allah. :-)
im not islamic or beleive in allah but i like this im just wondering will it work for a newlywed thats only 19 years of age?
@mandy it should work; it’s generic advice. Even if you only use one or two pieces of it, it should help.
I really really like what is mentioned here but, being from western society “USA and Canada” I really do not think most woman would not follow all these ideas. I would like to say, this is every mans dreams no matter what culture, to have a wife like this. On the contrary, my wife fails in several points on this list. Disrespect is one of them. A man should without ASKING for the wife to turn off the computer, the tv and the radio in the master bedroom so he can sleep. In fact, non of these items should be in the master bedroom.
A wife should NEVER yell at his husband or as its in the list, unloading her anger or “crab” at the husband when she gets home. My wife works, and I work part time. She makes alot more money then me but, I provide all the labor for her, do the arands for her when she is at work and so on.
If a husband ask a wife to clean up her mess, she should not crab about it!! My wife does. I would not mind cleaning up after her…but NOT ALL the time for the same thing.
Wife should NEVER unless she is a cop, exert authority over her husband.
Woman should never been a enforcer of some one else actions. Wife took kids bike “took it from him” and took it inside the apt complex because the concrete path between the two buildings were marked “no bike riding” she called 911, to report the kid. I was asleep at this time. I was awaken, and asked to come outside. The officer threatened to put her in jail for theft “wouldn’t that be a relief”.
Anyway ladies, us men love woman who are sweet, nice, friendly attitude with a “I am glad to see you” we love woman who are happy, and cheerfull. I had a woman from my church who wanted to help me work on her car. She was very nice about it, and something in me said wow, that is really nice.
Now the question is, how many Muslim woman abide these simple rules? Any woman who is really emotional “genetics like my wife which she got from her mom” would have a very hard time adjusting to these items.
Fresh breath.
I’m not Muslim, in fact I am a Christian married man. I wanted to let you know wonderful those 60 little tips were. Just reading them made me feel special, and I hope my wife will somehow stumble upon this. Thank you.
nice explanation and many valid points made and important one also
alhumdullilah wow i really liked it inshallah ill try my best to follow these ways to keepmy husband happy ameen
alhumdullilah wow i really liked it inshallah ill try my best to follow these ways to keepmy husband happy ameen
thanks for giving a such good knowledge
I know so many muslims who never miss their namaz,even in busy public places never afraid or ashamed to to take the holy name of ALLAH!
I wonder how you teach your children such love for GOD!
These are the best advise on marriage i ever Got!! thankyou.
whish you had more.
Mashallah may Allah present u wid much more knowledge nice n valuable tips for whole womens of the world
MashaAllah great post!
May Allah make it easy for us to implement what pleases our husbands and increase our marriage with barakat.
There is also a video by the same speaker devoted to the husbands located here:
http://www.lightuponlight.com/islam/modules.php?name=Stream2&file=index&lid=431
Salam. . I wanna learn mOre aBouT Islamic Mariage,
@Satya, Islam teaches that relationship between God and human is direct, no mediator between us and God. Its a beautiful relation between Creator and HIS creation.
When you know your Creator, automatically love develops. You will start doing things which pleases him. You love anything for HIS sake, you hate anything for HIS sake. The relationship so beautiful, can not be explained in words, that sweetness faith only can be experienced, can not be described..
There is only One God. One God, One Human Race, One way of Life. This way of life is nothing but Islam.
Islam in Arabic means – “Submit, surrender to your creator and obey HIM with the peace in heart”. In simple terms, “Doing what God wants you to do”.
By the way, Islam has proofs that it is the true religion of God. These proofs can be explained to a child and a scinetist. Islam is not only about worship of God. It is a solution to the all problems in the society.
Its all about rights. Parents have rights, children have rights, husband has rights, wife has rights, your neighbours have rights on you, plants, animals have rights, this earth has rights on us, and first of all, Our Creator has rights on us – that is HE alone should be worshipped.
Islam is not the new religion brought by Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) in 7th century. Its is the same relgion of Adam (the first man), Noah, Abraham, Moses and Jesus (May God’s peace and blessings on all of them). God does not accept any religion except Islam.
I would like you to visit these following websites -
http://godallah.com/
http://allahsquran.com/
http://prophetofislam.com/
http://shareislam.com/
I invite you to the beautiful religion of God..
assalamoalaikum Warahmat ul Lahi wabarakatuhu..these r such wondrful tips ..i d say guidelines to hv a healthy married life..i would like to contribute,:while hvin meal eat in the same plate n put meat pcs or salad in each others mouth..A husband n wife who eat in same plate will never get divorcd inshALLAH..WSLM
i am very unlucky cos my husband first daid he wants baby whn i did not wanted he convicend me and thn whn i am carryin now his mother and father is askin me to kill my baby and brain washed my husband and now he does not want it so and tehy were forcin to kill it so ran out of my house and came to my mother house …wht do i do i want my husband and my baby .
thank you
good tips my life i will apply them in everyone pray for my good life pray for increasing our love may we live togather till the day of judgement and even in the immortal life i wish to b with my husband farhan ahmad
actly me nd my fiance alwys hv fi8 alternately. i hope the the above 60 ways wud help me. i wud definately try 2 bring the chnges in me prctically.i luv him a lot nd i wnt 2 b wid him 4ever. i guess the tips will wrk……….. thnks a lot
very nice …jazakallah
the article is good. i will follow almost all but he won’t understand my dreams even i explained him detailed. we want an article on that too.
Assalamu alaikum, Subhanallah amazing tips – inshallah my wife will see these! It would be good if someone could put together a list for brothers to do things for their wives inshallah that would be very beneficial…
Jazakallah wasalaam
itx jx amazin…may Allah bless us all
JazakAllah khair, After 11 years of marriage I am finally beginning to understand how to make it work!!
i would like to say thank you so much for commont and advice of real life and love i would like to jioning you
whooever wrote this must be male dominated guy…u must be crazy to think all. u need servent not wife..
these r al gud tips for me. i wil try to do …thanks
i also want my husband become happy it will reach me in jannah i will try for that now im fear of hell becouse my husband shout and beat me but i want forgive allah save me and u people also pray for me and my family