Category Archives: Articles

Fascinating and informative Islamic articles, often related to Islamic work.

Week 10 – Manners of Sneezing and Yawning

بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

This is the continuation of the series, that focuses on implementing sunnah in our lives. In the last post, we talked about the manners of sleeping. In this post, we will look at the Sunnahs of sneezing and yawning:

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Allah loves sneezing but dislikes yawning; so if anyone of you sneezes and then praises Allah, every Muslim who hears him (praising Allah) has to say Tashmit to him. But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so if one of you yawns, he should try his best to stop it, for when anyone of you yawns, Satan laughs at him." [Bhukari: English reference: Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 245. Arabic reference : Book 78, Hadith 6298]

Click here to show evidences/reference links

Sneezing:

Manners of Yawning:

Tip of the Week:

"You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.” Anthony Robbins. All of us probably know many of these manners of sneezing and yawning but the problem is that we don't practice what we know. Make it your goal that for the next seven days, you will practice what you learnt in this post!

Action Item:

  1. Share this post on social networks.
  2. Review the old posts in the series

References:

Previous Post in this Series:

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Follow the Sunnah – Week 4

Last week, we focus on the sunnah of making ablution and coming out of the washroom. Here is the sunnah for this week:

After the fard salahs:

  • After slautation, say Allahu Akbar in loud voice
  • Say “Astagfirullah” thrice in low voice
  • Recite “Ayat Kursi”
  • Read the morning and evening supplications after farjar and asar prayers (Another Link)
  • Recite other Adhkars and Supplications
  • Pray the two rakahs of ishraq after the fajar prayer (The Messenger of Allah [SAWS] said, “Whoever prays the dawn prayer (fajr) in a group and then sits and does dhikr until the sun rises, then prays two rakas, shall have the like of the reward of a hajj and an umra.”)

Tip of the Week:

Get some nice colorful cards/sticky notes. Put the relevant information and stick them in various places in the house as reminders.  For example, summarize the sunnahs about using the washroom that we have learnt in previous weeks, put it on the card and stick it on the washroom mirror or door.

Action Item:

  1. Share this post with 5 other people and get the ajar. Post on facebook, twitter, email etc

Previous Post in this Series:

References:

Booklet: Sunnah Checklist – published by Alhuda International

 

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Oswatun Hasana – The Best Uncle

cloth on floor

And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds. [21:107]

In the last post, we looked at how our beloved prophet (SAW) set for us an excellent example as a father. Inshallah, continuing with the theme, in this post, we will explore two more roles:  uncle and the master.

Treatment with niece

  • After the Taif Campaign, one of the captives As-Shaima, the daughter of Al-Harith As-Sadiya, the Messenger’s foster sister was brought to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) , she introduced herself to him. Upon recognizing her by a certain mark, he honored her, spread for her his garment and seated her on it. He was graceful and released her and made her turn back to her people. [The Sealed Nectar]

Amazing! For those of us, who have the nieces, do we treat them with the respect, honor and love? How about with our own sisters? Note that As-Shaima was the daughter of the foster sister and yet the prophet (SAW) treated her with so much kindness.

Treatment with servant:

  • Anas reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) had the best disposition amongst people. He sent me on an errand one day, and I said:  By Allah, I would not go. I had, however, this idea in my mind that I would do as Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) had commanded me to do. I went out until I happened to come across children who had been playing in the street. In the meanwhile, Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) came there and he caught me by the back of my neck from behind me. As I looked towards him I found him smiling and he said: Unais, did you go where I commanded you to go? I said: Allah’s Messenger, yes, I am going. Anas further said: I served him for nine years but I know not that he ever said to me about a thing which I had done why I did that, or about a thing I had left as to why I had not done that. [Muslim]

Subhanallah, how many of us actually do that? When we are given a position of authority, be it be at work (supervisor, manager, business owners) or at home, how do we treat the people under us? Are we gentle, merciful and forgiving. We need to learn from our beloved Prophet (SAW).

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The Beautiful Qualities of Yahya alayhi salam

Bismillah walhamdolilah wassalatu wassalam ‘ala rasool Allah

Allah subhaanhu wa ta’ala says in the Qur’an (the meaning of which is):

(It was said to his son): “O Yahya (John)! Hold fast the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah)].” And We gave him wisdom while yet a child. And (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy (or a grant) from Us, and pure from sins [i.e. Yahya (John)] and he was righteous, and dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither an arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents). So Peace on him the day he was born the day that he dies and the day that he will be raised up to life (again)! [19:12-15]

Here we see that Allah gives certain people over others honour and nobility. Allah begins by telling us that Yahya alayhi salam is given knowledge, understanding, and adherance to the scripture. On top of that, he is given wisdom. In this is a great lessons for mankind. Verily, knowledge of scriptures is useless without the ability to excercise wisdom in teaching it and learning from it. Thus we see that in knowledge and wisdom is true nobility and status.

Ibn Kathir rahimuhallah says in his tafsir:

This means he (Yahya alayhi salam) was given understanding, knowledge, fortitude, diligence and zeal for good and the pursuit of good. He was blessed with these characteristics even though he was young. Then Allah mentions: “And (made him) hananan from Us”. Ibn Abbas radhiAllah anhu and others such as ‘Ikrimah and Qatada rahimuhumallah said: “This means mercy from Us.” Ad-Dahhak rahimuhallah added, “Mercy that no one would be able to give except Us.”  This means that he (Yahya alayhi salam) was a compassionate man, who was righteous.

After Allah mentioned Yahya’s obedience to his Lord and that Allah created him full of mercy, purity and piety, He attached to it his obedience to his parents and his good treatment of them. Allah mentioned that he refrained from disobeying them in speech, actions, commands and prohibitions.

Then, after mentioning these beautiful characteristics, Allah mentions his reward of security and safety in three circumstances. Sufyan bin `Uyaynah rahimuhallah said, “The loneliest that a man will ever feel is in three situations. The first situation is on the day that he is born, when he sees himself coming out of what he was in. The second situation is on the day that he dies, when he sees people that he will not see anymore. The third situation is on the day when he is resurrected, when he sees himself in the great gathering. Allah has exclusively honored Yahya, the son of Zakariyya, by granting him peace in these situations.”

SubhanAllah! What beautiful qualities for us to follow! Here’s a quick recap of the 8 characteristics mentioned about Yahya alayhi salam:

1) He was given knowledge and understanding of the scripture
2) He was granted wisdom
3) He was compassionate to mankind
4) He was pure (i.e. from sins)
5) He was righteous (i.e. was aware of Allah, had taqwa)
6) He was dutiful of his parents
7) He was not arrogant towards Allah or his parents
8) He was not disobedient towards Allah or his parents

May Allah give us the ability to follow the guidance given to us by our Lord. Ameen.

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Thanking Allah in times of a Calamity

Bismillah walhamdolilah wassalatu wassalam ‘ala rasool Allah

Umer radhiAllah anhu used to say:

“If Allah strikes me with calamity I will thank Allah for four things: 1) that the test was not in my deen 2) the calamity could have been worse 3) it is an expiation for my sins 4) any loss after losing the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam is nothing”

The greatest man that lived after the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam and Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radhiAllah anhu, Umer ibn al-Khattab radhiAllah anhu. What a man! SubhanAllah. We thank Allah for giving us such amazing examples of people to emulate and look up to. Alhamdolilah!

Being thankful to Allah is indeed a great favour granted to the slave from Him. Without His will we would never have the ability to thank Him. On top of that, being thankful to Allah in times of a calamity is a greater favour granted to the slave from Him, subhanahu wa ta’ala. Not only has Allah allowed the slave to thank Him for the bounties that are evident, but He has allowed him to look deeper and thank Him for those bounties that arn’t as evident.

My brothers and sisters, all calamities are indeed a great blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala because it gives us an opportunity to reflect and understand that everything is in His control. and if He has willed it, then it is always for our betterment. Look to the example of Umer ibn al-Khattab radhiAllah anhu, and let’s start putting things into correct perspective. Next time we stricken with a calamity–a lost job, car accident, death in  the family–go back and thank Allah because atleast you are still Muslim and you still have Jannah waiting for you in the hereafter. Thank Allah, say Alhamdolilah, because we all know things could have always been much worse: if you lost your job, you could have lost your home; if you had a car accident, you could have lost your legs; if you lost a member in the family, you’ve already lost the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam.  And thank Allah, in abundance, because that little bit of distress and difficulty is an expiation of your sins. Allahuakber!

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Reminder Series: Four Priorities of the Muslim

Abu Barzah al-Aslami radi Allahu anhu reported that Allah’s Messenger sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, “The two feet of the servant will not cease (from standing before Allah) on the Day of Judgment until he is asked about four things: on his life and how he spent it; on his knowledge and what he did with it; on his wealth and where he earned it and how he spent it; and on his body and in what way he utilized it.” [Saheeh, reported by At-Tirmidhi]

We live in a time where it is difficult to truly imagine ourselves being under anyone else’s control, even though we know our every breath, our every step, our every movement is fully controlled by the Creator of the heavens and the Earth. Nonetheless, we still find it difficult to imagine a day where freedom will be taken away, completely. Today, even under these ‘controlled’ environments, Allah has permitted freedom to mankind; we can speak, eat, see, walk, sit, touch, and listen as we please. However, in the Hereafter on the Day of Judgement, the freedom of mankind will indeed be taken away and the supremacy of Allah subhanhu wa ta’ala will be shown. On that Day, Allah will reign King over all the other so-called kings and humans, and He will control His environment in a matter that He wills. On that Day, we will not cease from standing until certain questions are answered.

How many of us are able to actualize the reality of this event? Just imagine not having the ability to move even the slightest bit on that day. Imagine…feet being stuck to the ground and not having the ability to lift them, even with full attempts to do so. Just imagine, with all the anxiety, stress and fear of that day, you will stand in front of Allah and He will directly ask you about four things: 1) Your life 2) Your knowledge 3) Your wealth 4) Your body

There will be no escaping on that day in front of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. We will be asked and we will answer; whether we like it or not, whether the answers are pleasing or not. Let’s push and struggle to be of those whose answers will be pleasing to Him, subhana. Let’s make the sincere intention to make our lives a means to come closer to Allah, let’s use the knowledge we gain to worship Him in a manner that befits His majesty, let’s use our wealth to give zakat and charity, and let’s use our bodies to do all kinds of good deeds for His sake.

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Ramadan Resource Bonanza!

treasure chest.

What’s better than a chest of gold and jewels? A post full of Qur’an and sunnah!

Bismillah.

This is a guest post by an author who compiled a wide number of resources related to fasting, reciting Qur’an, and sincerity of intention. This is a great resource of ahadith and ayaat related to fasting. May Allah grant them a great reward (ameen!) and forgive any mistakes I have made in re-formatting it and linking all the sources to their citations.

So without further a-do, let’s jump into it.

Reported al-Bukhari that Umar bin al-Khaatab narrated: “I heard Allah’s Messenger (salallahu alyhi wa salaam) saying: “The reward of deeds depend on the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended.” [Al-Bukhar: 1/1/1]

The Intentions of Fasting: Compilations of Intentions and benefits of fasting in the month of Ramadan

  1. To carry out the orders of Allah and to attain piety as Allah said: “O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become al-Muttaqun (pious)” (Al-Baqarah 2:183)
  2. To get protection from Hell-Fire. Allah’s Messengers (salallahu alyhi wa sallam) said: “When a person fasts for a day, for the sake of Allah, Allah drives away the Hell-Fire from him to a distance of seventy years of traveling.” [Al-Bukhari: 4/52/93 and Muslim 6/2570 to 6/2572]
  3. To expiate one’s past sins. Allah’s Messenger said: “whoever observes Saum (fasting) during the month of Ramadan, out of sincere faith, and hoping to attain Allah’s Rewards, then all his past sins will be forgiven.” [Al-Bukhari 1/2/37 and 3/32/231]
  4. To enter Paradise .Abu Umamah said: I asked the Prophet,’O Allah’s Messenger, guide me to a deed with which I may enter Paradise. “He (salallahu alyhi wa salaam) replied,’ Observe fasting; there is nothing like it.'” [An-Nissai, Ibn Hibban, and al-Hakim]
  5. To get the intercession on the Day of Judgment. “On the Day of Judgment, fasting and Qur’an will intercede for the person who observes fast and recites the Qur’an.” [Ahmed]
  6. To get a granted invocation (supplication).Allah’s Messenger said:’ Three kinds of invocations are to be granted; the invocation of the person who observes fast, the invocation of an oppressed person, and the invocation of a traveler.” [Al-Silsilah as-Sahiha no. 1797]
  7. To enter through the gate of Ar-Rayyan on the Day of Judgement. Allah’s Messenger said: “There is a gate of Ar-Rayyan on The Day of Resurrection and none except them will enter through it.”
    [Al-Bukhari 3/31/120, Muslim 5/2239 and 5/2240].
  8. To receive the reward in full without reckoning. Allah’s Messenger said:’ A man’s good acts are recompensed many times, from ten times to 700 times. Allah, the Exalted, says ‘But a fast is an exception because it is undertaken simply for My Sake) i.e.,there is no limit for it’s recompense) and I, Alone shall bestow the reward for it.'” [Muslim 6/2566 to 6/2568]

The intentions When taking Sahur (the Pre-Dawn Meal):

  1. To carry out the commandment of Prophet Muhammed (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) and follow his sunnah, when he said: “Take the Sahur because there’s blessing in it.” [Al-Bukhari 3/31/146, and Muslim].
  2. To be different from the people of the scriptures who do not observe partaking of Suhur [Muslim].
  3. To seek the salaah of Allah and his angels upon oneself. The Prophet Messenger (salallahu alyhi wa sallam) said: “Allah sends his salaah (graces, honors, blessings, mercy, etc.) and also his angels send their salaah (ask Allah to bless and forgive them) upon those who take sahur.'” [Ibn Hibban and at-Tabaraani]
  4. To facilitate fasting and gain strength for worshipping.
  5. To make Du’aa and ask forgiveness after taking Sahur at the end of the night.

The intentions at the time of breaking Fast.

  1. To carry out the orders of Allah (Subhana wa ta’ala) by eating at sunset.
  2. To gain strength for worshipping Allah (Subhana wa ta’ala).
  3. To follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammed (salallahu alyhi wa sallam) in hasting the breaking of the fast.
  4. Allah’s Messenger said: “The people will continue to be in a good state of affairs as long as they hasten the breaking the fast.'” [Bukhari 3/31/178 and Muslim 6/2417]
  5. To get the pleasure (Joy) when one will meet his Lord on the day of resurrection. Allah’s messenger said: “There are two pleasures of the person observing fast, one at the time of Iftar (breaking fast), and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord; Then he will be pleased because of his Saum (fasting).” [Al-Bukhari 3/31/128 and 9/93/584]
  6. To get a granted invocation (prayer) at the time of breaking the fast. Allah’s messenger said: “Indeed the fasting person has at the time of breaking fast a prayer (supplication) which is not rejected.” [Ibn Majah and Al-Hakim]

The Intentions of Qiyaam (Establishing the nights with Prayer):

  1. To expiate ones past sins. Allah’s Messenger (salallahu alyhi wa sallam) said: “Whoever establishes (Nawafil, voluntary) prayers during the nights of Ramadan, faithfully, out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah’s Rewards, all his past sins will be forgiven.'” [Al Bukhari]
  2. To search for Lailatul -Qadar (The Night of Qadar).Allah’s Messenger (salallahu alyhi wa sallam) said: “Search for the night of Qadar in the odd nights of the last nights of Ramadan.” [Al-Bukhari 1/2/37]
  3. To enter paradise with peace. Allah’s Messenger said: “O people! Spread Salaam (greetings), feed others, join your kin, and pray at night while people are sleeping, you will enter paradise with peace.” [Ibn Majah and at-Tirmidhi]
  4. To be one of the Muhsinun (Goodoers) who, “They used to sleep but little by night and in the hours before dawn, they were (found) asking (Allah) for forgiveness.” (51:17-18)
  5. To imitate and follow the way of the righteous predecessors. Allah’s messenger said: “exert your utmost to offer night prayers, because it is the way of the righteous predecessors before you it is nearness to your Lord, it expiates sins and prevents one from committing evil deeds or sins.” [At-Tirmidhi and authenticated by al-Albaani]
  6. To receive the great booty that comes from reciting the Qur’an in the night prayer is. Allah’s messenger (salallahu alyhi wa sallam) said: “Whoever establishes the night prayer and recite ten verses, will not be written down as one of the heedless and whoever prays at night reciting 100 verses will be written down as one of the sincere devotes, and whoever prays at night reciting 1000 verses will be written down as one of the al-Muqantarin [i.e. those for whom is written a Qintaar (a weight measure) of reward].” [Abu Dawoud and authenticated by al-Albaani]

The intentions when reciting the Qur’an

  1. To get the intercession. Allah’s messenger said: “Read the Qur’an as it shall come on the day of resurrection as an intercessor for its readers” [Muslim 4/1757]
  2. To get the healing for that which is in the breast (disease of ignorance, doubts, etc…)
  3. To be raised in grade (ranks) Paradise.
  4. To make it a protection (and a shield) from Hellfire
  5. To attain high ranks and to be with the angels.
  6. To be one of Allah’s special people.
  7. To get the Light with which one can be guided in the darkness (i.e. it is a light in the heart, in the face, in the grave and on the bridge (As-Siraat) on the day of Resurrection)
  8. To get increased amount of reward and to attain Allah’s love.
  9. To get the guidance and mercy of Allah.(Subhana wa ta’ala)

We ask Allah to help us be among those who implement all of these things consistently in our lives–allahumma ameen!

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Advice from an Older Brother: Study your Deen

From a lecture given at MIST Nationals 2006 by Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi
Friday July 21st, 2006

Knowledge and Studying your Deen

“I am here in front of you today, and if I were to choose again, I would go back and do the same thing and do religious studies. I can’t even remember what courses I took when I was at UH. My main motivation for choosing to do Islamic studies was that I realized I needed to do something for the ummah. As we speak, we have a crisis going through our ummah. We all know, we don’t need to talk more about it, it is all over the news and everything. I know some of you won’t leave what you are doing, and I don’t expect you to, and I don’t want you to. This ummah needs the doctors, engineers, and lawyers. Not everyone in this ummah needs to be an ‘alim or scholar. And Allah (سبحانه وتعال) definitely doesn’t ask everyone to be a scholar. If you are not going to be a scholar, then you should at least know your religion. To me, I was ashamed that I knew so much about physics, chemistry, and mathematics compared to what I knew about my religion.

Our communities are in need of scholars though. We see it in our communities often, where we have an imam who is from another world practically and doesn’t understand what we are going through. It is true, they are from another world, because they haven’t grown up here. We need to stop importing imams because our communities can’t respect them. We see it in our communities that these moulvis and maulanas give fatwa and people don’t respect them, and we can’t blame the imams nor can we completely blame the community. There is a big gap between them, we need homegrown scholars and students of knowledge to bridge this gap.

Like I said before, not everyone here is going to be a scholar, and nobody expects everyone here to become one. The least everyone should do is learn your religion. Each and every one of you can read a book a month–it’s not that hard and it only requires you to make some time for it. All you need to do is cut back on some of the things we do. I know all of us have things that we can cut back on. I am not saying stop hanging around friends, or going to movies, or whatever it is you do. All I am saying is cut back on some of the things to make time for learning your religion. Our elders came here for whatever reason they came here for, we are growing here, we understand the psychology of Americans, but if we don’t have knowledge of religion how are we going to make them understand our religion? How are we going to make da’wah to them and call them to Islam? There is a need for homegrown scholars and fulfilling that need starts with you.

How to study your religion?

  1. Study the Qur’an – If you can memorize US History and the 50 States in alphabetical order, then surely you can read the book of Allah (سبحانه وتعال), you can understand what the book of Allah (سبحانه وتعال) is saying. Make sure you pull the Qur’an down from that shelf for 10-15 minutes a day and read it. If you don’t read Arabic, then read the translation at least. The Qur’an is the most blessed thing to read there is so much barakah in it. It is so blessed; it is the Speech of Allah.
  2. Book of Hadeeth – The best statements were the statements of Rasoolullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم). Riyadh As-Saliheen is a very good book for everyone. Read at least one or two hadeeth a day. The book is written for the laymen and thus it is very easy to understand.
  3. Study basic theology. We all need to study a little bit of aqeedah. Each and every Muslim needs to know what is the Islamic belief or creed. We need to know the difference between us and them. We need to know what is the difference between God and Father.
  4. Another very important area of Islam that we need to study is fiqh. Each and everyone of us needs to know how to worship Allah (سبحانه وتعال). How many of us can list the factors that break your wudoo. Forget the differences of opinion, just know at least one opinion from the madhabs–what it is, and how to do it. This is the least everyone should know.
  5. Basic Laws of Islam that govern our everyday life or that determine our everyday decisions.

As the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said, “Learning knowledge is obligatory on each and every Muslim!”

This the least we need to do, and with everything else we do, it isn’t that hard at all. Allah (سبحانه وتعال) doesn’t require you to become a scholar, but at least learn your religion a little bit, and this way you will learn to respect the imams and ulemaa. And form personal experience, let this knowledge come to you from someone who is older then you, but not too old.

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60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love
  1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
  2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
  3. Smell good!
  4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
  5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
  6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
  7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
    1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
    2. Amicable divorce
  8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
  9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
  10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
  11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
  12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
  13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
  14. Call his family often.
  15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
  16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
  17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
  18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
  19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
  20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
  21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
  22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
  23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
  24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
  25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
  26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
  27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
  28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
  29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
  30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
  31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
  32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
  33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
  34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
  35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
  36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
  37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
  38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
  39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
  40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
  41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
  43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
  44. Brush your hair, everyday.
  45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
  46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
  47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
  48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
  49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
  50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
  51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
  52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
  53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
  54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
  55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
  56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
  57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
  58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
  59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
  60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, ameen! InshaAllah if you know more ways, post them in the comments and share the benefit.

(For brothers, check out 60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love, and the romance alive! by shaykh Ahmed Shehab)

Source (and more tips): Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love – AlMaghrib Forums

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Ten Tips Towards Being a Successful Husband

Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said, “the best amongst you are the ones who are best to their wives.” So dear Muslim brother! Your obligations towards your wife are not limited to earning money and supporting her financially. A wife needs love from her husband, and emotional support too!

10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband

Note: Additions in brackets are notes from a sister.

Prepared by Muhammad Alshareef, reprinted from Islamway.com.

1) Dress Up

Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

(Dress up for your wife when you are at home also. Some brothers only dress up when they go out and that is not a good practice. A husband should dress up for his wife when they are at home. it makes a wife feel special.)

2) Sweet Names

Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

(Remember, you are your wife’s only boyfriend, and her only best friend. She does not go out seeking boyfriends and she shares a halal relationship with you. Love her unconditionally for the sake of Allah. And express your love to her. A woman likes to be told that she is loved. Call her from your work to make sure she is doing fine. I have seen my dad calling my mother several times a day, just to make sure she has been eating well. And my husband calls me at least twice from work to make sure I am doing well. These things are very important in a relationship.)

3) Reward Her Actions

Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

(Whenever there is a fight or argument, just remember all the things she does for you. she cooks for you, she takes care of your home, she takes care of your children and the most important thing is that she guards her modesty. So do not upset her if she is upset with you. Hold her and tell her that you love her. Only your love can repel her anger. Communicate with her and discuss with her if there are any misunderstandings.)

4) Remain Silent

If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (رضالله عنهنّ). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

(Do not criticize her all the time. Trust her and trust her decisions. If she is doing something that you don’t like, or that goes against the teachings of Islam, then do advice her gently.)

5) Smile!

Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

(Do let your wife know that you are very happy and blessed to have her. A wife always wonder how her husband feels about her. She may have some insecurity about you, so make her feel secure. Always give her a hug whenever you come back from work. appreciate her and thank her for taking care of everything whole day. If you are not too tired, go out for star gazing for an hour or so.)

6) Acknowledge Her

Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

(Write thank you notes for her and place those notes in her books, her purse, her socks, and anything else that belongs to her. You can use your own creativity to thank her. You can thank her by writing something on a mirror with her lipstick, so that she can read it when she wakes up in the morning. You can also thank her by arranging a candlelight dinner AT HOME, you be the cook and let her rest. So far I have learned that a nice romantic dinner at home is much better than going out for dinner. This way a couple saves themselves from many fitnahs. You can thank her by writing her letters and emails. Remember, in Islam, everyday is special. So celebrate wife’s day with her, and do it very often without having a particular date. She will always wonder when the wife’s day is going to be.

You can also give her a certificate of appreciation, or a Best Wife Award on wife’s day. Do everything by yourself that day and let her rest, this way you will also know how difficult it could be to do household chores. Thank her by building a webpage for her, write a note there and a poem and then ask her to visit your webpage. Thank her by recording a voice message on a cd for your wife. She will love it!

Thank her by giving her a gift, and a gift does not have to be expensive. Be creative! You do not have to give her Roses, you can give her a leaf too! (My husband gave me a leaf once, instead of roses, and I was very happy and surprised, and I appreciated his creativity). So remember, thoughtful and creative gifts makes a wife feel secure and happy. Thank her by ordering a halal pizza for her, ask the restaurant to cut it in a heart shape and have it delivered with a personalized note. Thank her by thanking her in a family gathering. A woman likes it when her husband gives her attention.

If you visit her parents or your parents, hold her hands and tell your parents how happy you are after marriage. Give your wife an Islamic book as a gift after praying Tahajjud. Use your imagination and think about unique gifts. Remember, she does not need a diamond, she needs your sincerity and your heart, so always give her the gifts that are thoughtful. Whenever you do something to make her happy, observe her facial expressions and ask yourself about how you feel when you become her happiness.)

7) Ten Blessings From Allah

Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game–ask her and work on repeating those things in your life.

(Also ask her to write down the things you did that she did not like, or the things you did that made her unhappy. Try to not do those things in future. If she falls ill, let her lay down, and read different surahs from Qur’an while placing your hand on her forehead. When I got sick, my husband recited Qur’an for me, it really helped a lot mashaAllah. Remember, a wife needs her husband the most when she is not feeling well. Take good care of her because a healthy wife makes a healthy family. Do not expect too much from her when she is sick.)

8) Validate her Feelings

Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (رضالله عنها) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

(If there is a time of sadness, give her your shoulder to cry on. Hold her and tell her that everything will be fine. Alhamdulillah, my husband and my dad are amongst those Muslim husbands who would even have tears in their eyes if their wives are sad. Remember, a woman does not like to cry alone in a corner. She needs someone to hold her when she is sad, so never let her feel lonely. Remind her the verses from Qur’an that talks about Patience and Piety.)

9) Have Fun!

Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasulullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would race his wife Aisha (رضالله عنها) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

(A sense of humor plays a very important role in a marital relationship. Most women wish to have a husband who has a good sense of humor. Tell her decent and modest jokes that make her happy. A wife appreciates it very much if her husband makes her smile. You can play various games at home. Play with crayons, or have a pillow fight. Or hide different notes in your bedroom and ask her to find it. Think of different games you can both play. Let her win sometimes!

Adopt interesting hobbies, such as reading, cooking together and gardening (grow a surprise rose plant in your garden, when you have the first rose blooming, take her to the garden and show it to her. Newspaper and Sports Issue! Men like to watch sports, or read newspaper. Most Pakistani wives consider newspaper as their co-wives. So be very careful. If you are watching sports, turn the TV off if your wife comes around. Give her attention. Do not spend too much time reading newspaper, and do not read newspaper on the breakfast table, rather have an Islamic discussion. If you want to get her to like newspaper, then try to find something that interests her. Such as, try to find a news about Hijab. Or try to find a news about Muslim women for her.)

10) Be The Best

Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم): “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best! In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta’ala knows best!

(And once again: your wife is your best friend, and your girlfriend. Share everything with her. Remember she is your garment and you are her garment, so hide her faults and mistakes. Learn to forgive her. Also communicate a lot with her family. It really makes a difference if husband communicates with his in laws. It helps both husband’s and wife’s family to share a beautiful relationship. Respect her parents and show your love to her family. This will inspire her to love and respect your family. If her family is not muslim, do dawah to them in a beautiful way.)

Spend lots of time praying to Allah swt. Do fast often even if it is not Ramadan. Fasting brings patience and taqwah. Lead her in the prayer. There is nothing better than praying together. Remember Allah, so that Allah remembers you.

May Allah bless us and guide us all. Ameen!

References

Alshareef, Muhammad. “[10 Tips] How to Be a Successful Husband.” IslamWay. 24 Apr. 2007 <http://english.islamway.com/bindex.php?section=article&id=103>.

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