Translation: Narrated 'Abdullah: The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said: Truthfulness (sidq) leads to righteousness (birr), and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes and is written as a truthful person (siddeeq). And Falsehood/lying (kithb) leads to Al-Fajoor (wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajoor (wickedness) leads to the Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar (kathaab). [Saheeh Bukhari, Book of Manners, #116]

Birr is from ba-ra-ra and it literally means a vast and open piece a land, with so many types of herbage and fruits. Birr means vastness of good deeds. Someone who is baarun (one who does birr) does all types of good deeds, and these people, al-abraar (plural of baarun), are those who are truly righteous. Next time you read the Qur'an, look for this word "al-abraar" (الابرار)and see which context these people are mentioned.

The hadeeth says that whoever is truthful, they will be lead to do these vast good deeds and then eventually they will be written as a "siddeeq". Notice this word, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) did not say a 'saadiq', but he said 'siddeeq'. A 'siddeeq' is way better than a saadiq. They not only tell the truth, they always speak the truth, and they stand by it and live by it until it becomes their nature. All they do is tell the truth, again and again. Think of Abu Bakr as-siddeeq (رضي الله عنه‏) and how he earned this name.

On the other hand, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said that the man who lies will be lead to "fujoor" and then is written as a kathaab. Al-Fujoor is from fa-jeem-ra and it means to break open, cross, and deviate (significance of words beginning with fa). Fujoor is also intensified and it shows that causing corruption and wickedness is embedded in this person's nature. Their actions are based on it and it is part of their character. Also, the word for liar used is a "kathaab", which is not just a kaathib (a liar), but a huge liar. One who is always lying until it's just second nature for lies to come out of his mouth. All they do is lie, again and again. Think of Musaylimah al-kathaab and how he earned this name.

So the question is, where do we stand with Allah (سبحانه وتعالى)? How are you written with Him? As a siddeeq or a kathaab? This reminder is for myself first and foremost.

Allahumma ijalnaa min as-siddeeqeen, wa la tajalnaa min al-khaathibeen. O Allah, make us among those who are always truthful, and do not make us among those who are liars. Ameen!

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says in the Qur'an,

Translation: It is He who has sent among the unlettered a Messenger from themselves reciting to them His verses and purifying them and teaching them the Book and wisdom although they were before in clear error. [Suratul Jumu'ah, verse 2]

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) sent Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) to do four things:

1. Recite the verses
2. Teach the Qur'an
3. Teach the Wisdom (sunnah)
4. Purify his followers.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) nurtured the sahaba and taught them in such a way that the whole of Arabia drastically changed in a matter of 23 years. He had six amazing qualities of teaching that inshaAllah we can implement and follow as teachers, parents, siblings, and any other roles we have in our communities.

Mu'awiyah ibn Al-Hakam said, "I have never seen a teacher before him (Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) or after him better in teaching than he."

The attributes of a good teacher:

1. Desire and keen for goodness for students: In surah At-Tawbah, Allah says, in the translation of ayah 128, "There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful." Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) also advised Abu Dhar (رضي الله عنه‏), "I see that you are weak, and I love for you like I love for myself, so if someone gives you a position of leadership, don't take it".
2. Kindness. Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, "Allah is Kind (Rafeeq) and He loves kindness, and confers upon kindness which He does not confer upon severity, and does not confer upon any thing besides it (kindness)." [Muslim] We see his kindness throughout his life (صلى الله عليه و سلم), when he would pass by children in the street he would play with them--unlike nowadays, where people think it is righteousness to never smile. Anas ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه‏) narrated that whenever the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) would pass by children he would smile fondly and greet them. [Bukhari and Muslim].
   Anas also narrated, "I served him for ten years, and he never said "uff" (an expression of disgust) to me. He never said, 'why did you do that?' for something I had done, nor did he ever say 'why did you not do such and such' for something I had not done." [Bukhari and Muslim].
3. Hikmah (wisdom). Hikmah is defined as saying the right thing at the right time to the right people in the right manner. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed." A man inquired: "O Messenger of Allah! I help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?'' He (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, "You can keep him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him." [Bukhari]. Another example is the story of the bedoin who urinated in the masjid. SubhanAllah, while all of the sahaba ran to admonition him and beat him, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) simply said, "Leave him alone and pour a bucket of water over it. You have been sent to make things easy and not to make them difficult.'' [Bukhari]
4. Humilty and humbleness. Abu Rifa'a (رضي الله عنه‏) narrated that, "I came towards the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) while he was giving the khutba. I said 'O Messenger of Allah, an estranged man has come asking about his religion, he does not know what his religion is.' The Messenger of Allah came towards me and left his khutba until he reached me, and was brought a chair, I thought the legs were made of iron. The Prophet sat on it and started teaching me from what Allah had taught him. Then he returned to his khutba and completed it." [Bukhari]
5. Saying "I don't know" if you don't know the answer. Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) would only answer a question if Qur'an had been revealed answering it, or he would wait for revelation. Once, Jaabir ibn Abdillah (رضي الله عنه‏) came and asked the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سل) about inheritance, and Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) stayed quiet until Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) revealed the ayah in Surah an-Nisaa.
6. Speaking slowly. 'Aishah (رضي الله عنها‏) reported that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) did not summarize his speech, and he spoke in such a way that if one were to count his words, they could be counted. [Bukhari] Anas ibn Malik also reported that Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) would repeat his words three times.

These are only a few of the qualities of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) as a teacher, indeed in him we have an excellent pattern--as Allah Himself says:

Translation: There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often. [Surah Ahzab, verse 21].

References

AbdulBary Yahya. Lecture. AlMaghrib Institute. Chain of Command: Hadeeth Sciences. University of Maryland, Rockville. July 2007.

As a good reminder to the sincere heart, even if you have been blessed with guidance to the Sunnah and hold yourself to be from Ahlul-Haqq, the Shaytaan will not leave you alone. Perhaps he may destroy your deeds by wrecking your character and making you heedless and blinded by the fact that you 'ascribe yourself to the correct way.' We ask Allah to make us people of upright character, firstly with Allah, His Messenger, his companions, the scholars of Islam, our families, and our brothers and sisters in Islam.

1314. Narrated Ibn Mas'ood (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Adhere to truthfulness, indeed truthfulness leads to righteousness (editor's note: birr) and righteousness leads to paradise, and if a man continues to speak the truth and makes truth his object, he will be recorded as truthful before Allah. Avoid falsehood, indeed falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the hellfire, and if a man continues to speak falsehood and makes falsehood his object, he will be recorded as a liar before Allah." [Bukhari and Muslim]

1315. Narrated Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Avoid suspicion, for indeed suspicion is the worst form of false speech." [Bukhari and Muslim]

1316. Narrated Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Avoid sitting by the roadside, they (the Companions) asked 'O Allah's Messenger, we cannot do without those meeting places in which we converse,' so he said, "Well if you insist (on that), give the road its dues." They asked, 'what are the road's due?' He replied, "Lowering the eyes, abstaining from anything offensive, returning salutations, enjoining good, forbidding the evil." [Bukhari and Muslim]

1317. Narrated Mu'aawiyyah (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Whoever Allah wishes good for, he gives him understanding of the Religion," [Bukhari and Muslim]

1318. Narrated Abu ad-Dardaa (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "There isn't anything, which will be put on the scales (on the day of resurrection), heavier than good character." [Abu Daawood and At-Tirmidhi reported it, and the latter graded it saheeh]

1319. Narrated Ibn 'Umar (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Modesty is a part of Faith." [Bukhari and Muslim]

1320. Narrated Abu Mas'ood (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "One of the things people have learned from the earlier prophecies is, 'If you do not feel any shame, do whatever you like.'" [Bukhari]

1322. Narrated Iyaad Ibn Himar (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Allah, the Most High, has revaled to me that you should be humble, so that no one transgresses against another, and no one boasts to another." [Muslim]

Note: we see hear that both transgression and pride are blameworthy characteristics, it is reported in a hadeeth that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) stated that transgression is one of the worst of the criminal acts that are punishable in this world as well as in the hereafter. Surely, a lack of humbleness fosters and breeds both transgression and pride.

1323. Narrated by Abu ad-Dardaa (رضي الله عنه‏), the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Whoever defends his brother's honour in his absence, Allah will protect his face from the hellfire on the day of resurrection." [At-Tirmidhi reported it, and graded it hasan. Ahmad has something similar from the hadeeth of Asmaa', daughter of Yazeed]

Note: If someone backbites a third person before somebody, the listener must stop him on the spot; and if possible one should mention his virtuous deeds and qualities instead.

1326. Narrated Tameem ad-Daree (رضي الله عنه‏) Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said three times: "The religion is naseehah (sincerity)." We asked, 'who is it (directed) to, O Messenger of Allah?' He replied, "To Allah, His Book, His Messenger, the leaders of the Muslims and their common-folk." [Shaeeh Muslim]

1327. Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه‏); Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "The Fear of Allah and Good Character are the major things that lead to paradise." [At-Tirmidhee reported it, and al-Haakim graded it saheeh]

Note: Good Character here includes treating people well, refraining from causes them any harm and maintaining a cheerful appearance whilst interacting with them. The Arabic word "taqwa" stands for one's compliance with the divine commands and avoiding the prohibitions.

1330. Narrated Ibn 'Umar (رضي الله عنه‏); Allah's Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "The believer who mixes with the people and patiently endures their harms, is better than the one who does not mix with them and does not endure their harm." [Ibn Majah reported it with hasan chain of narrations, and At-Tirmidhee also reported this hadeeth, but did not mention the name of the companion.]

Mistah was the cousin of As-Siddiq (رضالله عنه). He was the son of Abu Bakr's maternal aunt, and a poor man with no wealth except whatever Abu Bakr spent on him. He was one of those who had migrated for the sake of Allah, and he invented the lies and the slander against 'Aishah (رضالله عنها).

As-Siddiq (Abu Bakr) was known for his generosity, and he did favors for his relatives and strangers alike; but when Allah revealed the ayah to confirm 'Aishah's innocence (from the slander invented by Mistah), Abu Bakr (رضالله عنه) swore he would not help Mistah. In fact, he said, "By Allah, I will never spend on him," (and in another version, "By Allah, I will never provide for Mistah anything after what he has said about 'Aishah.")

Then Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) revealed:

Translation: And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, al-Masaakeen [the poor], and those who left their homes for Allah's Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Al-Ghafuwr (the Most-Forgiving), Ar-Raheem (the Most Merciful). [Surah Noor, verse 22]

This is part of the patience, generosity and kindness of Allah towards His creation, despite the fact that they wrong themselves. After Allah revealed the innocence of the Mother of the believers, 'Aishah, the believers were happy and content with the outcome of the incident. Those believers who had talked about the matter repented, and the prescribed punishment had been carried out upon those on whom it was carried out. Then, Allah softened the heart of As-Siddiq towards his relative Mistah bin Uthathah.

When Allah revealed, "Do you not love that Allah should forgive you,"--which shows that the reward fits the action, and that if you forgive others, you will be forgiven,--then As-Siddiq (Abu Bakr) said, "Of course, by Allah, we love--o our Lord--that You should forgive us.'' Then he resumed his spending on Mistah and said, "By Allah I will never stop spending on him.''

SubhanAllah, after everything his family and his daughter went through as a result of the slanderous tale, all it took was one ayah and a reminder about forgiveness and the Forgiveness of Allah. May Allah grant us the wisdom and ability to be stubborn and strong when stubbornness and strength are necessary, and to be gentle and forgiving when gentleness and forgiveness are appropriate. May He grant us the status of those who love for His sake and hate for His sake. Ameen!

Source: Much of this is quoted directly from Tafsir Ibn Katheer, though sections also come from Women Around the Messenger by Muhammad 'Ali Qutb.

Any error is my own, and all that is good and correct is from Allah.

Lessons:

1. When in the middle of a heated argument over anything, just remember: Rasoolullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) has promised YOU a house in Paradise if you give up this argument. What's better: winning an argument and feeling tough and strong (while in the process, maybe hurting others and maybe disrespecting the Islamic adaab), or a house in Jannah?
2. "I'm not lying, I'm only kidding, yo!" Nuh uh, a lie is a lie - even if it's meant to be a joke. Making jokes is cool, but only if they are truthful and don't hurt others. When making a joke that is not true, ask yourself: is picking up a big sin better just to amuse others and make myself look cool, or is a house in the middle of Jannah better?
3. Subhan Allah, I notice that with ahadith relating to adaab (etiquettes, manners), the incentive mentioned in a hadith is mostly Jannah. In this case, it's the highest part of Jannah!! It's almost as if good adaab are a stairway to Jannah. Why? Our adaab mostly affect those around us, and thus good adaab benefit those around us and bad adaab hurt those around us. Wallahu alim. One awesome way to improve our adaab can be found here.

May Allah give us the tawfeeq to perfect our manners and conduct, and may He enter us into the highest part of Jannah, ameen.

Source: Three Guarantees of Paradise - True and Good Words

She had a decision to make: when he comes home should she tell him right away, or should she just bear it and make him happy first and then when he is comfortable and settled in, then tell him? She thought to herself that she's going to take the weight of this tragedy upon herself. And she's not gonna tell him, and she didn't want him to spend the entire night crying because that would really be hurtful to her, she could not bear the fact that her husband would be crying all night because of their son.

So Talha (رضي الله عنه) comes in and asks his wife Umm Sulaym about his son, how's he doing? She said, "He's relaxed, he's at peace." Talha didn't think anything of it, thought he probably went to sleep, he's ok. She then beautified herself, and they spent the entire night together.

After Talha was relaxed, she said to him, "O Abu Talha, imagine if we had some neighbors, that they had some trust that they had placed with us, should I return the trust to them?" Talha didn't suspect anything, so he said "sure, if there's some trust you took, you should return it." So she said, "We have a trust, this trust has been with us for 10 years"--look at how smart she is, using metaphors about her son--and Abu Talha said, "10 years? That should be returned sooner, that has more of right to be returned immediately."

So she says, "Allah has now taken back His trust, so seek your reward from Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) by being patient about your son's death." Abu Talha was livid, he got very upset, he thought, she waited the entire night to tell me? until Fajr came.

Without saying a word to her, he raced to Rasoolullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) at the time of Fajr and complained to him – "look, this is what my wife did, look at how mean this was and how …" Rasoolullah (صلي الله عليه وسلم)--after he was finished--smiled and said "Is this the one who's footsteps I hear in Paradise?" – Is this the woman who's footsteps I hear in Paradise? Meaning that what she had done was the right thing, to please her husband despite the tragedy that had happened.

And for that he heard her footsteps in Paradise.

May Allah make us all among the sabireen, the ones who are patient and attain Paradise through it, ameen!

1. For Brothers: use extreme compassion and mercy towards your wives! Almost all relationships could benefit from more mercy and compassion.
2. For Sisters: struggle not to complain! Once complaints start, they only get worse, and in the end, they can spoil your marriage.
3. For Both:
1. have a common goal--to serve Allah (سبحانه وتعالى), to worship Him, and to enter Jannah together, without reckoning.
2. close the doors of fitnah – shut them off from your marriage. Keep each other's secrets, don't share them. Throw out your TV. Travel together on long trips.
3. worship Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) together – choose some activity that you use, that you do together. Go to Islamic lectures. Read tafseer together. Start an Islamic project. Memorize Qur'an together.

Typical in the 21st century: clubbing, flirting, sex, drugs, alcohol, stealing, cheating, swearing, injustice, premarital relations, immodesty, and the list goes on and on.

So who's typical? Is it the one who refrains from all the above, or the one indulges in it? Is it the one who's perceived weird when he speaks out against someone swearing? Or is it the one who joins the people in their evil?

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: "Islam initiated as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so glad tidings for the strangers." [Saheeh Muslim, Book 1, Chapter 66, #270]

Alhamdolilah!

So whats it gonna be? Stranger? or Typical?

1. Make a list of people you deal with:

• Parents
• Friends
• Co-workers

2. Write how you would want to be treated in each of those roles:

• I’d like to be respected and obeyed as a parent, and shown unconditional love by my kids
• I’d like to be held in honor amongst my friends, I’d like them to listen to me, to respect me, to complement me on my good, to ignore my shortcomings and to give me sincere advice
• I’d like to be heard, I’d like to be listened to and I’d like to be respected for my work

Viola! There is your to-do list from now onwards on how to deal with people! The recipe is simple: put yourself in the other's shoes, and then ask: how would I want to be treated if I was that person? Then, treat them that way and in sha Allah, this is how you'll be treated by them in response!

This is the way one can PERFECT their adaab. Whoever does this, and has complete iman in Allah (in statements and actions), then without a doubt Jannah will be their abode, in sha Allah.

I pray that Allah gives us all the tawfeeq to have complete Iman in Allah and to perfect our adaab by following the advise of the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) as stated in the afore-mentioned hadith, ameen.

Source: Keys to Paradise - True and Good Words