عن انس قال النبي ‏ ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏لا يؤمن ‏ ‏أحدكم حتى أكون أحب إليه من والده وولده والناس أجمعين ‏

Anas radi Allahu anhu narrated that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, "None of you truly believes (has emaan) until I am more beloved to him than his father, his child and all of mankind." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Loving the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam is a part of emaan, and Allah ta'ala has made it obligatory for us to love the Messenger alayhi salaam. Why? It is because loving the Prophet shows that you love Allah. It is because Allah sent him sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam that we are Muslims. There should be no one in this world more beloved to us than Allah and His Messenger.

We all claim to love the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam with our tongues, but do our actions show this?

When we love someone, how do we act? We want to be just like them. We think about them a lot. Whenever we remember them, we become happy. Their words comfort us. Their actions teach us. We love to hear about them all the time.

Do you really love the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam? Do you practice his sunnah? Do you read his words? Do you learn from his teachings? Do you read about his life? Do you defend him? Do you spread his message? alayhi Salaatu Rabbuna wa Salaam!

There are so many stories displaying the love of the sahaba for the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam that we can regurgitate them all, because we have memorized them and not internalized them.

Here are some stories of non-human living beings that loved him alayhi salaam based on a lecture by Shaykh AbdulBary Yahya, "things" that loved the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam more than we do!

The Tree Stump

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah radi Allahu anhu: The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam used to stand by a tree or a date-palm on Friday. Then an Ansari woman or man said. "O Allah's Apostle! Shall we make a pulpit for you?" He replied, "If you wish." So they made a pulpit for him and when it was Friday, he proceeded towards the pulpit (for delivering the sermon). The date-palm cried like a child! The Prophet descended (the pulpit) and embraced it while it continued moaning like a child being quietened. The Prophet said, "It was crying for (missing) what it used to hear of religious knowledge given near to it."
Ibn Umar radi Allahu anhuma narrated: The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam used to deliver his sermons while standing beside a trunk of a datepalm. When he had the pulpit made, he used it instead. The trunk started crying and the Prophet went to it, rubbing his hand over it (to stop its crying).

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam used to stand by a stem of a date-palm tree (while delivering a sermon). When the pulpit was placed for him we heard that stem crying like a pregnant she-camel till the Prophet got down from the pulpit and placed his hand over it.

These ahadeeth are classified as mutawaatir, meaning so many sahaba narrated it that it cannot be fabricated. The different narrations show that they all witnessed it in the masjid. This is a miracle of the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and the narrations of the sahaba are all authentic, found in Bukhari and Muslim. This tree trunk, which seems like a lifeless being to us, is actually alive and was so affected by the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam. Allah ta'ala says the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam is a "rahmatan lil 'aalameen", a Mercy for all that exists, and we see this in how he comforted this stump. Imagine the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam soothing and hugging this tree stump!

Mount Uhud

Narrated Anas radi Allahu anhu: Allah's Apostle sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam ascended the (mountain) of Uhud with Abu Bakr and 'Uthman and it shook. Allah's Apostle said, "Be calm, O Uhud!" I think he stroked it with his foot and added, "There is none on you but a Prophet, a Siddiq and two martyrs." (Bukhari)

The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam was traveling one time: "and when Uhud was within sight, he said: This is the mountain which loves us and we love it." (Muslim)

This is a mountain, made up of rocks and stones, yet we are made of flesh and have been given hearts that beat...do we love the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam as this mountain? Do we shake like this mountain out of love for him?

A Stone

The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, “I know a stone in Makkah that used to salute (give salaams) me before I received the revelation, I still know it now." (Muslim)

How often do we salute/send salawaat on the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam? The Prophet knew this stone, and if we send salawaat on him, especially on Fridays, they will be presented to him from us.

A Tree

Narrated by Ya'la ibn Murrah ath-Thaqafi radi Allahu anhu said, "one time we were walking with the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam and he stopped at a place to spend the night. When the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam went to sleep, a tree uprooted itself and came to the Prophet and enveloped him. When the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam woke up, he said: 'this is a tree that when it saw the Prophet, it asked Allah to give salaams to the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and Allah gave it permission.'" (Musnad Ahmad, Tabarani and Bayhaqi: Saheeh)

Do we ask to see the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam in our dreams? Yet a tree is asking to send salaams on the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa salaam.

These are not the only stories mentioned in the sunnah and witnessed by the Companions. Let us strive more to love the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa salaam: learn about his life, read about his companions, act upon his authentic statements and teachings, send salawaat upon him and defend him, alayhi salaatu wa salaam.

May Allah ta'ala shower His peace and blessings upon our Messenger, and fill our hearts with love for Him and his messenger, bless us to see him in our dreams and to grant us his companionship in Jannatul Firdaws, Ameen.

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says in the Qur'an,

Translation: It is He who has sent among the unlettered a Messenger from themselves reciting to them His verses and purifying them and teaching them the Book and wisdom although they were before in clear error. [Suratul Jumu'ah, verse 2]

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) sent Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) to do four things:

1. Recite the verses
2. Teach the Qur'an
3. Teach the Wisdom (sunnah)
4. Purify his followers.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) nurtured the sahaba and taught them in such a way that the whole of Arabia drastically changed in a matter of 23 years. He had six amazing qualities of teaching that inshaAllah we can implement and follow as teachers, parents, siblings, and any other roles we have in our communities.

Mu'awiyah ibn Al-Hakam said, "I have never seen a teacher before him (Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) or after him better in teaching than he."

The attributes of a good teacher:

1. Desire and keen for goodness for students: In surah At-Tawbah, Allah says, in the translation of ayah 128, "There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful." Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) also advised Abu Dhar (رضي الله عنه‏), "I see that you are weak, and I love for you like I love for myself, so if someone gives you a position of leadership, don't take it".
2. Kindness. Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, "Allah is Kind (Rafeeq) and He loves kindness, and confers upon kindness which He does not confer upon severity, and does not confer upon any thing besides it (kindness)." [Muslim] We see his kindness throughout his life (صلى الله عليه و سلم), when he would pass by children in the street he would play with them--unlike nowadays, where people think it is righteousness to never smile. Anas ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه‏) narrated that whenever the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) would pass by children he would smile fondly and greet them. [Bukhari and Muslim].
   Anas also narrated, "I served him for ten years, and he never said "uff" (an expression of disgust) to me. He never said, 'why did you do that?' for something I had done, nor did he ever say 'why did you not do such and such' for something I had not done." [Bukhari and Muslim].
3. Hikmah (wisdom). Hikmah is defined as saying the right thing at the right time to the right people in the right manner. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed." A man inquired: "O Messenger of Allah! I help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?'' He (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, "You can keep him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him." [Bukhari]. Another example is the story of the bedoin who urinated in the masjid. SubhanAllah, while all of the sahaba ran to admonition him and beat him, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) simply said, "Leave him alone and pour a bucket of water over it. You have been sent to make things easy and not to make them difficult.'' [Bukhari]
4. Humilty and humbleness. Abu Rifa'a (رضي الله عنه‏) narrated that, "I came towards the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) while he was giving the khutba. I said 'O Messenger of Allah, an estranged man has come asking about his religion, he does not know what his religion is.' The Messenger of Allah came towards me and left his khutba until he reached me, and was brought a chair, I thought the legs were made of iron. The Prophet sat on it and started teaching me from what Allah had taught him. Then he returned to his khutba and completed it." [Bukhari]
5. Saying "I don't know" if you don't know the answer. Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) would only answer a question if Qur'an had been revealed answering it, or he would wait for revelation. Once, Jaabir ibn Abdillah (رضي الله عنه‏) came and asked the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سل) about inheritance, and Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) stayed quiet until Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) revealed the ayah in Surah an-Nisaa.
6. Speaking slowly. 'Aishah (رضي الله عنها‏) reported that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) did not summarize his speech, and he spoke in such a way that if one were to count his words, they could be counted. [Bukhari] Anas ibn Malik also reported that Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) would repeat his words three times.

These are only a few of the qualities of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) as a teacher, indeed in him we have an excellent pattern--as Allah Himself says:

Translation: There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often. [Surah Ahzab, verse 21].

References

AbdulBary Yahya. Lecture. AlMaghrib Institute. Chain of Command: Hadeeth Sciences. University of Maryland, Rockville. July 2007.

When they reached Medina, rumors sprang up: 'Aisha and Sawfan committed zina. Rumours by Abdullah ibn Ubay, the chief of the hypocrites.

Four groups emerged during this great fitnah--a fitnah where people offered to kill Sawfan. A fitnah where the Messenger of Allah himself (صلي الله عليه وسلم) drew back from his wife, unsure what to do. (Though Allah revealed verses confirming her innocence, after a month.) Who were these four groups?

1. Gossip-Mongers: one group actively took it upon themselves to spread the vicious rumors (and they even knew it was false).
2. Echoers: one group didn't believe in it, but they still passed it on to others, anyway--and so word spread quickly.
3. The Silent Ones: one group remained silent. Completely. They didn't say she did it, they didn't say she didn't do it; they side-stepped the fitnah.
4. Deniers: one group--even though they had no evidence--denied it. Some said "we only know good of Sawfan (رضالله عنه) and 'Aisha (رضالله عنه)." And this is how Muslims should be--husnul thunn, or giving our brothers and sisters the benefit of the doubt.

And Allah rebuked these groups, and revealed ayaat that Muslims should not pass on unconfirmed rumors, that they should think good of their brothers and sisters. The Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) even had people publicly lashed for spreading accusations without proof!

Allah says:

Translation: Verily! Those who brought forth the slander (against 'Aishah) [...] unto every man among them will be paid that which he had earned of the sin [...]. Why then, did not the believers, men and women, when you heard it (the slander) think good of their own people and say: "This (charge) is an obvious lie?" [...] Since they (the slanderers) have not produced witnesses! Then with Allah they are the liars. [...] When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great. [Surah Noor, verses 11-15]

This happens today--you see a brother or sister at the mall walking with someone of the opposite sex. Or Muslims get arrested for purported acts of terrorism because they went paintballing once. But what should you do?

1. Default to a good opinion. Innocent until proven very guilty. You'll find that, most cases, you turn out to be right, and they really were innocent.
2. Confirm a statement before you pass it on. If it's not confirmed when it reaches you, no problem; but do confirm it before you tell others about it.
3. Don't get lashed! Remember, the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) had them lashed--those who didn't even believe it, but only passed it on! This is the level of enormity of the deed; remember it well.

And we ask Allah to make us among those who are safe from backbiting and slander, both to ourselves and to others (ameen)!

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. The Shepherd’s Path. University of Ryerson, Toronto. March 2007.

The norm during those days was that when a land is conquered, ALL its people are killed, and its women and children are taken as slaves and property. So when the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) conquered Mecca, the Meccans became frightened. And they should've been--this is the man who they slandered, tortured, ridiculed, persecuted, and fought for 21 years.

So what did he (صلي الله عليه وسلم) do when he entered?

He forgave them all.

Translation: And We have not sent you (O Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم)) except as a mercy for the universe. [Suratal Anbiyyah, 21:107]

However, there were certain individuals who were not forgiven--war criminals whose opposition reached such a level of intensity and evil, that they could not be forgiven. The Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) gave this list out--these men and women were to be executed, immediately, and there would be no mercy for them--not in this life, and not in the next.

Who were these individuals, Mecca's war criminals?

1. Wahshi, a slave who earned his freedom in Uhud by killing the Prophet's uncle Hamza (رضالله عنه) in Uhud.
2. Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, who ripped out the liver of Hamza's (رضالله عنه) body, and ate it. Raw. (The Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: there was never a day more painful to me then the day I stood over the body of my uncle Hamza.)
3. Abu Sufyaan, who--although decided to become Muslim--had to run for his life to the Prophet, because 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab (رضالله عنه) saw him, and chased after him! (Had 'Umar (رضالله عنه) reached him before Abu Sufyaan (رضالله عنه) reached the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم), 'Umar (رضالله عنه) would've killed him! Though, once he said he wanted to become Muslim, the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) forgave him.)
4. Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl, the son of Abu Jahl; all the Arabs considered the ka'ba sacred, it was their sanctuary--yet, even as he was clinging to the curtains of the ka'ba, they were pulling him away to kill him.
5. Abdullah ibn Sa'ad

Yet, subhanallah, we see the truth of this ayah--because ALL of these four criminals were forgiven, and all of them accepted Islam. Ikrimah (رضالله عنه) pledged to spend double for Islam what he spent against it; Abdullah ibn Sa'ad (رضالله عنه) became the commander of the Muslim navy; Wahshi killed Musaylimah Al-Kathaab, one of the biggest opponents of Islam during the reign of of Abu Bakr (رضالله عنه).

That's Islam for you.

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. The Shepherd’s Path. University of Ryerson, Toronto. March 2007.

Subhanallah, even within two uncles of the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم), we see great differences. Compare and constrast them:

Abu Talib:

• Extended his protection to his nephew, the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم), even though the Quresh wanted to kill him
• Wrote strong, emotional poetry during the boycott of Mecca in order to move people towards nullifying it
• Commanded his sons to sleep in the Prophet's (صلي الله عليه وسلم) bed at night, so that if any assassins came, the sons would die instead of the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم)
• The Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said regarding him: because of me, he will be in the lightest part of the Hellfire.

Abu Lahab:

• When the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) stood on Mount Safaa and openly called the people to Islam for the first time, Abu Lahab said May you perish! Have you called us for this?
• Mocked the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) when his son Ibrahim died
• Commanded his two sons, who were married to the Prophet's (صلي الله عليه وسلم) daughters, to divorce them
• The Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said regarding him: Every nation has a Fir'awn, and the Fir'awn of our nation is Abu Lahab [1].

What are one of the lessons we can learn from this? It doesn't matter who you are, or who your family is--what matters are your beliefs and your deeds. And Allah says:

Translation: O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is he who is the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).

May Allah make us among those who achieve taqwa, irrespective of who we are--ameen!

[1] Abdul Qadeer. "Two Little Warriors." Madani Forum. 19 Feb. 2007. 9 June 2007 <http://madani.16.forumer.com/a/two-little-warriors_post1995.html>.

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. The Shepherd’s Path. University of Ryerson, Toronto. March 2007.

The Shepherd's Path is an AlMaghrib Institute course taught by Muhammad Alshareef.

While many of us claim to love the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم), few of us follow his path, and fewer still know more then snatches of information about him. How did he live, and how did he die? What key lesson did the angel Jibreel send by squeezing him three times before the first revelation? What deep and profound lessons can we learn and apply from his life, to our current situation? What would he do if he were in our position today?

Don't know the answers? Well, read on inshaAllah and find out!

• Benefits to Not Fighting Back
• Mecca's War Criminals
• The Shepherd's Path
• The Role of the Masjid
• Two Uncles of the Prophet
• Wild Rumors
• Womanly Awrah

• Seerah
• Tazkiyyah

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. The Shepherd’s Path. University of Ryerson, Toronto. March 2007.

And Allah revealed the commandment not to fight back. Not in Mecca, not for ten years until they migrated to Medinah.

So you might ask, why? For ten years, they endured unspeakable oppression. Allah knows best about the true purpose and wisdoms of His command, but what are some of the benefits Muslims received from not fighting back?

• Patience: the Muslims learned patience--hard patience, wrought out over ten years.
• Obedience: The Muslims learned obedience to their messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) and to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) in all things, even in hard trials.
• Sympathy: Those non-Muslims around who witnessed this oppression sympathized with the Muslims, and Islam grew silently. (In fact, when the Muslims were boycotted for three years, it was five non-Muslims who stood up and ended the boycott.)
• Life: if fights broke out--and a few did--what would have happened? A handful of Muslims, in a non-Muslim land? Who would lose? The Muslims! But they didn't fight, and this preserved their numbers.

Wallahu 'alim. Post any other benefits you find in the comments inshaAllah.

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. The Shepherd's Path. University of Ryerson, Toronto. March 2007.

1. A place for children: not a place where they cried and ran around but a place where they were accommodated. There are several narrations of how when the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) was praying, the children would come and climb on his back or he (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would hold them while praying salah. The masjid was a cool place to hang out, it was where they learned the basic adaab and akhlaaq and principles of the Muslim society.
2. Educational Center: The masjid acted as a school where the Sahaba were educated and were encouraged to learn more.
3. Organization of the community: the masjid is where all the organizational events took place. It was in the masjid where the Sahaba learnt to become organized people - how the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would walk between the saff of the Muslims before every salah, to straighten and correct their saffs.
4. Hospital: Many who were wounded or sick were tended in the masjid, such as Sa'd ibn Mu'adh (رضي الله عنه) after the Battle of Khandaq.
5. Shelter: it was a shelter for the poor and needy (nicknamed As-Saffa). This is where people would bring in dates and hang them on the wall of the masjid, so any hungry person could eat from them.
6. Social life: The Muslims met each other at the masjid five times a day, they got to know each other and were able to actively participate in each others' lives. If someone was missing, they understood that there was a problem, so they would ask about it. Likewise, the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to sit with the companions after Fajr sometimes and ask them about their dreams.
7. Think-Tank: The masjid is where shura and brainstorming took place.
8. Welcome Centre: Chiefs, delegations and visitors were all met and welcomed at the masjid.
9. Serenity Spa: if someone had anything bothering them, they would go to the masjid. Like the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم)--when he was upset with his wives, he went to the masjid. The Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) would call to Bilal (رضي الله عنه) to make the adhaan and start the prayer.
10. Bedouin Retreat: Bedouins would come, sit in the majalis, learn the Qur'an, ask their questions, go back home, and teach their people the deen. Whole tribes became Muslim from one or two bedouins!

How far we have fallen from this blessed example of the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم)! We should all take it upon ourselves to enliven our masjids--only then will we truly experience the true benefits of them the way the companions did.

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. The Shepherd's Path. University of Ryerson, Toronto. March 2007.

During the time of the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم), he received a letter from a man named Musaylimah, who claimed prophethood as well, and wished to divide up the area. In response, the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) wrote:

"From Muhammad the Messenger of Allah to Musaylimah the liar. To proceed. Verily, the land belongs to Allah, and He inherits it to whom he wishes. And the outcome will always be for the believers."

Subhanallah, such a short letter, in which he ripped Musaylimah apart and made it clear that he would be part of no such alliance.

Similarly, when Iyaad ibn Ghanim sent a letter to Khalid bin Walid (رضي الله عنهما) outlining his situation and requesting military assistance, the letter he received in response said only: "You, I seek." And when Iyaad ibn Ghanim looked up, he saw the army on the horizon.

Take heed of this lesson: power comes with conciseness. When you need to speak out, especially when you're in positions of leadership, do your best to apply this practice.

Some tips to help you keep it "short and sweet":

1. Think before you speak! Before you say a word, make sure you think about what exactly you need to say.
2. Avoid Fluff! Unless you have a strong reason to expand on your core message, leave it at the bare minimum.
3. Practice, practice, practice! The more you practice, the easier it gets.

And you can apply this practice to emails, letters, speeches, discussions, everything.

Wallahu 'alim.

Related Posts: Qualities of Musaylimah, “It has a Ropy Tail and a Trunk.”

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. Conquest: History of the Khulafa. University of Toronto, Toronto. November 2005.

Look at the story of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him. In Mecca, before he became Muslim, he was one of the toughest on the Muslims.

One of his relatives, Umm Abdullah, prepared to leave for Habasha. He asked "where are you going?" and she said "To Habasha. I'm leaving Mecca because of the tightening you've put on us." And he said "may you travel in peace."

She was shocked. Remember, he (radiallahu 'an) was one of THE TOUGHEST on the Muslims. So she told her relative "I think he'll become Muslim" and his relative said "his donkey will become Muslim before hiim". THat's how tough he was against the Muslims.
His pain reached threshold--his own relatives leaving, families broken, and he didn't want it to continue. He went to kill the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم). On the way there, someone stopped him and said "your sister is Muslim, take care of your own family first."

So he went to his sisters house, and heard her reciting. He slapped her, saw her bleeding, felt bad, calmed down, and asked if he could recite. He recited from Surah Taha. He went to the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم).

Some of the companions with the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) saw 'Umar coming--one of the toughest, bravest, and fiercest warriors--and said "If he's coming to kill you, we'll kill him with his own sword." And the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said "this is between me and him."

When 'Umar (radiallahu 'an) approached, the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said "Hasn't the time come for you to become Muslim ya 'Umar." And 'Umar replied "I came for that reason. Ashudla ila ha illallah."

If you use this technique for Islamic work, be very, very careful with it. Always make sure your intentions are 100% correct, and stick to your limits. And in general, brothers respond well to being dissed--they excell. Don't try it on sisters. (In general, you can always try other techniques--like competing in good deeds.) Wallahu 'alim.

Muhammad Alshareef. Lecture. AlMaghrib. Conquest: History of the Khulafa. University of Toronto, Toronto. November 2005.